Manatee Adventure July 10, 2009

Every summer, we hold "Camp Lynch" at our house. Only my mother "Gramma Mary Apple" (GMA), and my step-nephew Augie are invited. Augie is the son of Martha, who is the daughter of Steve, who is married to my mother. Got it? Probably not, but that's okay. My family tree is an orchard. All you really need to know is that Augie is an all-around great kid, very smart, infinitely likable and, most important, a laid-back and forgiving sort of guy. Augie has suffered through many uncomfortable or embarrassing Camp Lynch episodes, including (and this is a very abbreviated list), jumping flat out onto a deflated air mattress, missing a ride on the big roller coasters because no one else was tall enough to ride and having to speak to his mother on GMA's cell phone which, when it rang, GMA was carrying IN HER BRA. Augie is, in short, perfect for Camp Lynch.

I am the Camp Lynch guide. Every year I put together a list of cool things to do in and around Tampa and I introduce the options to the campers. This year's must-do activity was a swim with the manatees. The plans were that we would spend the night in a Crystal River hotel, near the manatee dive site because: manatees are most active early in the morning and, therefore, manatee tours begin at 7 am, but you have to be there at 6:30 to get ready, which means we would have had to wake up at 4:30 am, had we not spent the night in Crystal River.

It was at this point (the night before the dive) that my husband, John, joined Camp Lynch. I mention this because John NEVER joins Camp Lynch because he is always so busy doing the fundraising for Camp Lynch (read: working).

Tip #1: Stay at the King's Bay Lodge. It isn't at all fancy, nor completely mildew-free, but it IS just a block from the tour location and the boat leaves from the King's Bay Lodge dock. We didn't stay there. We stayed at a major chain hotel where John had an allergic reaction to the smoke in the lobby when he checked us is in. The bar is, unfortunately, adjacent to the check-in desk. But the King's Bay Lodge is quaint, by which I mean tiny and a little run-down. But it is certainly closer, less smoky and probably more quaint - by any definition.

When we arrived at Manatee Tour and Dive we watched a video about manatee and habitat conservation. In the shop we discovered that we would be the only people on that morning's manatee tour and I felt a little proud of my planning skills that I had found a manatee swim outfitter that was offering a deep discount AND offered, essentially, a private tour.

Tip #2: Leave body image issues at home - you have to wear a wetsuit. Wetsuits really don't look good on any adult. Even if you have a great body, you can't tell when you're wearing a wetsuit. If your body is less-than-perfect, a wetsuit serves to accentuate the negative. You can opt not to wear a wetsuit, but King's Bay is a spring-fed 72 degrees Fahrenheit year-round and hypothermia is even less attractive than a wetsuit. So fight, tug, grunt and shimmy yourself into it happily and insist that all photos be taken of children and manatees only. By the way, children are incredibly adorable in wetsuits (see photo, left).

Once in our wetsuits, we walked down to the dock and met our captain, Doreen. Doreen is awesome. She's good with boats, manatees and kids. We are so glad she was our tour guide, especially after meeting a tour guide from another dive outfitter - but more on that later. Doreen motored us out but we didn't see any manatees, so she took us into the bay where we also found no manatees. We found no manatees as storm clouds moved in and we heard the low rumbles of thunder. For an hour. No manatees.

And then - alas! Another tour boat! Flying their dive flags! Lots of people getting in the water! We scrambled into masks, snorkels and fins as Doreen brought us closer to the site. Doreen dropped anchor and in we went. This was it! Except, it wasn't. The water was murky. Manatees are a murky gray color. I was only inches away from a manatee and could only see it because it had bright white scars on its back. Basically, I saw moving murkiness with white stripes. Of course, the moving murk was very, very large. I was nervous and reached out to touch it quickly, and yanked my hand back immediately. It felt... murky.

It swam away and I began to make my way back to the boat when I heard, to my alarm, the tour guide (Mike) from the other boat yelling at my kids. "Stop splashing!" "Be silent!" "Keep your feet at the surface!" "You're going to scare them away!" Of course, the kids didn't hear him. They were snorkeling and could only hear the sound of their breathing through the snorkel. I could hear him, though, as he went on to explain to his group that "these kids" were doing the exact opposite of what they should be doing if they wanted to see manatees. He loudly pointed out all their errors to the other tourists. He told the story of the "best kids" he'd ever taken on a tour and how they did exactly as they were told because they had a "very strict" Troup Leader. Just makes you want to run out and sign your kids up for the Boy Scouts, doesn't it?

The manatees had moved on, perhaps due to my clamorous, thrashing children, but Mike kept up his chatter. I'd had enough. As I swam back to Doreen's boat, where John and Brooks were swimming nearby, I called to the kids, "Alright, Maddie! Augie! Go back to the boat, we're upsetting the driver of the other boat." Mike said something like, "I was just saying they should.." Whatever. Then I said, "Yeah, I hear you cracking on my kids." I said it LOUD. Ha! I spoke up! It was great! Doreen was proud of me, too.

Once the kids and I were back on board, Mike started up again. "Look at that little boy with yellow fins! He's doing it just right! There's a manatee next to that little boy with yellow fins!" And do you know who that "little boy" was? It was my mother! (photo, right) "Ha" again! I might have manatee-repellent children, but I can tell the difference between a little boy and an old lady. Ha!

When we were all back on the boat, Doreen pulled up anchor and we went in search of more manatees to scare, er, swim with. One thing we did learn during that first manatee encounter, was that Brooks did not - under any circumstances - want to be in the water with manatees. This was a little disappointing for the adults. We really wanted her to have the awesome (albeit murky) experience. Maddie siezed the passive-aggressive opportunity to one-up her sister for the rest of the day: "Brooks, why didn't you swim with the manatees? It wasn't scary. It was really fun and easy." Brooks was not at all upset or disappointed. She wasn't conflicted. She was very, very happy to watch from the boat.

A confession: I thought, maybe , we HAD scared those manatees away, and I felt a little twinge of guilt. The other group was there first. And yes, maybe Mike was the kind of guy who deserved to have his manatees spooked, but those people on his tour didn't deserve it and... well, I just decided not to think about it. As Doreen kept up the search for more manatees, we all ate snacks and I tried not to feel too bad about the frightened manatees, nor too good about talking back to Mike. (Ha!)

Doreen used the radio to speak to a boat captain friend of hers (Carol), who encouraged us that we were heading to a great spot - and she was right! Doreen spotted manatees, dropped anchor, and we all (except Brooks) got in the water. Actually, we splashed in. While jabbering excitedly. We were going to swim with a baby manatee! It occurred to me that it would be impossible for Maddie and Augie - especially Maddie and Augie - to swim near a manatee in any calm sort of way. What we learned is this: This baby manatee LOVED loud, boisterous children. She stayed close to us, even following Maddie and Augie around in the water. She swam up to our boat, put her face right up to Augie's face, placed her flipper in Maddie's hand and she tickled my ankle with her whiskers, too. Mom manatee ignored us, choosing to eat water plants nearby. When Mom eventually moved away, baby followed, and we did, too. We spent about 25 minutes with this sweet baby manatee. And Doreen swam with us, which is how we know she (the manatee) was a girl.

Here is more evidence of the awesomeness of Doreen: She never checked a clock. She let us swim with that baby manatee until it moved away with its mom and she didn't let us know - didn't even hint - that our time was up. And even though it WAS up, she still took us to the springs to swim and play some more.

On the way to the springs (Three Sisters Springs), Doreen explained that if we had come during the winter months, we would have seen all the manatees together in one place - at the springs. As it turns out, my planning was simply a result of having booked in the summer time, or manatee off-season. And the 50% off kids discount is year-round. And our tour was private because everyone else knows about manatee season. I didn't mind being humbled, though. I was too busy feeling blessed.

Once Doreen set the anchor at Three Sisters, we splashed in as loudly as we could and set off. The path to the springs is through a little creek, maybe eight feet deep and just as wide, with trees overhanging it. The water is perfectly clear. This is where Brooks blossomed as a snorkeler. She just needed to be able to see in the water and once she realized she could, she took off like a mermaid.

At the end of the canopied water path, the springs widen and we swam in the sunlight and looked down into the spring. Maddie and Augie removed their snorkel gear and were just swimming and playing in the water. Brooks was (finally!) loving snorkeling and we all felt we had found the most beautiful place on earth.

We swam back to the boat - with Brooks in the lead - and raced (at idle speed, of course) back to the dock so Doreen could pick up her next tour group.

Tip #3: Across the street from Manatee Tour and Dive is the Crystal Paradise Restaurant. Almost every business in Crystal River has the word "crystal" in its name. We were, however, unable to find the logic behind the word "paradise" in the restaurant's name. The waitresses are not friendly. And if you want to make a substitution on a menu item, they'll do it, but they'll charge you for both entrees. The food is good, though, and they serve breakfast all day. If you have just finished swimming with a baby manatee for half an hour and played in a "crystal river" then you won't even notice a little surliness and the whole day is a lot like paradise.